Celebrity Big Brother, we take a look at the main characters in the house - Holy Moly!
Are you watching Celebrity BB, then? Of course you bloody are. Youre on Holy Moly, which means you either watch it because you like it, or you watch it so you can get all angry about how much you hate it. Or youre like a drug addict; you know reality TV is technically bad for you, but Goddamnit it feels so good
Were four days in to this run, and already its coming together as lines are drawn, friendships are made and flirtations are executed with all the subtlety of a messy lapdance. Oh, and weve found ourselves quite liking Jedward and Amy. WHO SAW THAT COMING!?
Friends!
Jedward have been spending a lot of time chatting to Tara (because they love American Pie) and also seem to have warmed to Kerry quite a bit. Amy and Bobby have found an instant bond of vanity and vapidity. Sally and Paddy, by dint of nobody else really wanting to talk to them, have struck up an unlikely friendship, which is not very exciting to watch. Generally, the claws arent really out yet, with Amy and Kerry especially trying to be nicey-nice with everyone, but it can only be a matter of time before the fur starts flying. In fact
Drama!
Tara and Darryn, only three days in, have some serious enmity going on. It seems to have all started because of Taras perceived cheating (hugging the corners) in the musical chairs task, and we imagine that Darryns snoring cant be helping matters, as Tara hates snorers. Things got gritty when Tara pledged that Darryn will not last long in this house and encouraged Lucien and Bobby to vote for him come the next nomination day. Tara also had choice words about Amy, taking umbrage with her reality TV pedigree. On the fluffier end of the scale, there is some sort of ongoing drama between Amy and Lucien, borne out of sexual tension and a need for attention. Paddy and Sally seem to have disdain for Jedward, but they just sort of avoid each other, which is good considering Paddy wants to drown the Jeds.
Lurve!
Lucien basically fancies everyone, and goes about it much as a 12-year-old boy might: zero panache and subtlety, followed by some minor crying. He says he likes Pamela and hates Amy, but he obviously just fancies anything that stays still long enough, ahhhhh to be 19 again Amy and Bobby will end up snogging at the next boozy party BB throws them, mark our words. Then Lucien will cry again. Party girl Tara did just get married, and has been talking about her new hubby quite a bit, so we dont think were going to see any flirtation from her, but Jedward clearly fancy the pants off her.
Of course, the best thing about BB is that no matter how unique everyone thinks they are, they all start to fit into fairly well-defined pigeon holes:
Queen Bitch - Tara, obviously. Shes partied with Lohan and Hilton, so Tara has basically graduated with a First in Bitch Studies from Bitch College, Oxford. We want her to stay in as long as possible, because her out and out backstabbery promises to be truly great.
The Jester - Jedward. Whether theyre inventing new dance moves, walking on their hands or painting chocolate beards on each other (why does that sound so rude!?) Jedward are there simply to entertain. They also annoy the older housemates a lot, not least of all by having more fame and fans than Darryn, Paddy, Sally, Bobby and Pamela combined.
The Nice Girl - Simple Amy takes this one, as she is genuinely quite sweet and uncomplicated. We expect Tara to launch an attack on Amy any day now
The Crybaby - There we were thinking Kerryd be crying all the time, but whiney Lucien is obviously the most emotional housemate so far.
The Boring but Sexy Man - Bobby (with echoes of Alex Sibley, according to Mr HM) takes this one fair and square. Not a lot to say here, wed boink him, and hes been put in the house merely as very good looking wallpaper.
The Filler - Not even good filler like the custard in a vanilla slice. Darryn, Paddy and Sally are just sort of there, arent they? Justthere, doingstuff.
Predictions!
Amy to win and become the new Cheryl.
Jedward to come a very close second (if only because TOWIE has more fan power than Planet Jedward)
Bobby and Amy to kiss.
Lucien to cry more.
Lucien to try and kiss someone, anyone.
Darryn, Paddy and Sally to go as soon as possible.
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